I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
