ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
