She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
