just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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