I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
