By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
