It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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