i don't like sucking hair
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize