Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize