hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nicole vs. Life
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
