They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
