im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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