I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
