Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
