We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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