so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
