I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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