Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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