i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
