my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.