Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids