I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji