The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
