it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
