I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
