After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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