Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
