she was so not down for the gang bang
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
