Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
