I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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