im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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