Please, let me fuck your mom
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
