i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
