somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
