my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
