the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
