I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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