I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
