oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My ass is underappreciated
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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