You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
