We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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