I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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