The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish ðŸ€
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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