lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize