He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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