Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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