If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
