I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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