Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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(952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7

Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (437)
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(347): View more from New York

Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one

(347): View more from New York

Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...

(802): View more from Vermont

do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.

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(347): Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one (347): Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy... (802): do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy. http://tfl.nu/wg4e

Replies (43) Good night (3155) Bad night (909)
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(716): View more from New York

I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.

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(716): I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were. http://tfl.nu/cyr9

Replies (19) Good night (4768) Bad night (668)
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(760): View more from California

He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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(760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v

Replies (26) Good night (10765) Bad night (880)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?

(815): View more from Illinois

Quite the contrary. Sophistication.

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(541): I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression? (815): Quite the contrary. Sophistication. http://tfl.nu/7jsx

Replies (24) Good night (7567) Bad night (1154)
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(804): View more from Virginia

He likes Jesus. Game over.

(804): View more from Virginia

Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

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(804): He likes Jesus. Game over. (804): Oooh wait, he just told me he was high. http://tfl.nu/lcdj

Replies (14) Good night (4861) Bad night (1448)
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(516): View more from New York

so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry

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(516): so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry http://tfl.nu/npqz

Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (1221)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?

(919): View more from North Carolina

You might end up in the wrong class.

(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.

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(910): Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class? (919): You might end up in the wrong class. (910): I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class. http://tfl.nu/dnad

Replies (8) Good night (1944) Bad night (533)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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(402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9

Replies (14) Good night (2658) Bad night (586)
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(714): View more from California

Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream

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(714): Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream http://tfl.nu/g5ns

Replies (16) Good night (474) Bad night (791)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb

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(309): Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb http://tfl.nu/q450

Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (296)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off

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(603): Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off http://tfl.nu/n0zv

Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (267)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.

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(828): did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over. http://tfl.nu/37bx

Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (736)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make

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(202): Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make http://tfl.nu/yoxd

Replies (5) Good night (224) Bad night (672)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this

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(775): He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this http://tfl.nu/dg9b

Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (333)

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