nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.