i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize