Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize