When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
