I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
