just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
