so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
