So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
