I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
