oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
