That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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