My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
